Dating Safety
Nearly all Internet dating agencies offer anonymous contact between adults wishing to use their services, if you make use of this facility you will be safe and secure, giving out your contact details bypasses this safety guideline and from that point on its down to you to make sure you are safe.
We recommend you don't give out personal info until you have been talking long enough to build a picture in your minds eye of the other person. A lot of people are tempted to join a dating agency for the shortest time possible (sometimes only a 3 day trial) bombard every person in sight with messages, chat for five minutes and ask for contact details before their membership runs out..
Don't Be Tempted
I would always recommend waiting till the lowest possible membership duration has passed between you starting to talk to them and the time you give them any contact information (even if you are dying to). You will have just separated the ones out for a quick thrill from the ones that are willing to spend a bit of time and effort getting to know you, and who will be more likely to stay the course.
On the other hand if you are tempted, here are a few guidelines that should be second nature, but are all too easily forgotten. Please take the time to read them, they are here to try and keep you safe, and make the time spent searching for that elusive soulmate an enjoyable period. Dating Should Be Fun
Trust your instincts
You can meet some fantastic people on dating Sites, both that elusive soulmate and friends that will last for life. However, wait until you get to know someone well online before even considering meeting them offline. Use your instincts to know how much personal information (for example your telephone number, address & your surname) to tell them, and in the first instance only give them a mobile pay as you go number (you can buy them very cheap these days and it would be a very good idea to keep one just for this reason) and only agree to meet other people off line when you feel comfortable in doing so, (never be pushed into it, if someone tries - see that as a RED FLAG ) Most dating sites will never give out your personal information ( there are some pay per contact sites that sell information to other members but those sites will never be listed here), so you information is safe unless you give it out.
Be in control
Online dating sites are a great way to meet new people and one of the great benefits of using a dating site is that you are in control of how fast or slow the relationships develop. Never feel obligated to meet someone face to face and only move from purely online communication when you are ready. Remember the RED FLAG if someone seems to be pushing you faster than you feel you would like to go, then back right off (much better to be safe than sorry)
Ask for a photo
You should always ask for a picture if there isn't one on their profile, in this day and age there is no excuse for not having a photo uploaded, unless there is something to hide. People who don't have photos are not being open and honest. The most common reaction to your asking for their photo is an attack on your motives, you could be accused of being shallow and not caring about the actual person. Don't let this rattle you, if they wont give you a photo that's another RED FLAG (how many do you need before you shut the door)
Relationships Develop
At the beginning of a relationship some tend to rush head long into things and not tread carefully, while others build up a trust between themselves and the other person. When developing a relationship online the only safe way is the second way, take your time, know in your own mind where you are taking this relationship and that the other person feels the same. DO NOT RUSH, and DO NOT BE RUSHED, if the other person is right for you, they will not only be willing to wait till you are ready, they will feel exactly the same way. Rremember the mobile phone we spoke about- this is the perfect time to to use it. You can take another step forward, satisfy that curiosity to hear the other persons voice, BUT STILL BE SAFE. Trust is earned through honorable behaviour and if you feel the other member isn't being honest with you (RED FLAG), stop communication or be very cautious. Nearly all Dating Sites have a method of blocking members you would rather not speak to ( this function is always highlighted in our reviews).
The Phone
After exchanging messages on the site and then probably emails and maybe using an instant messenger service like MSN or Yahoo, and if you have not fallen out yet - you will probably be thinking about meeting up. DONT. If you haven't yet spoken on the phone, don't even think about meeting just yet. The phone is where you will discover more about the other person, its harder to lie for one thing, and you don't get time to plan your answer like you do in emails and messengers. Take your time, talk on the phone regularly if you are getting inconsistancies or something does not sound right, pin the other person down, if they are evasive, LOL - yep, you guessed it (RED FLAG) Ask direct questions, if you cant get a straight answer, and you still feel uncomfortable - walk away.
Meeting up
At some point in some of your online relationships you may decide to meet the other person face to face. Always meet in a public place, like a busy pub or restaurant and always tell a friend where you are going and how long you think you'll be. Even ask them to give you a call after say half an hour. If things are not as you expected you can use that call to get away, (unforeseen emergency). Always make your own way to a date and leave on your own. You may feel like you need a drink but don't drink the first time you meet up, being 'tipsy' could impair your judgments and if you move to a different location you may not know where you've gone,and i can hear it every time someone reads this, "That will never happen to me"
We're all different
Every member on the site is different, and some people will be happy to ask all sorts of questions, and freely give out information. However, members are also aware that not everyone is as open as them and until a relationship has developed through emails and maybe instant messenger, you may be a bit wary and reserved. Don't forget you are in control of (and ultimately responsible for) what you say and do. If you feel that a member is harassing you, make full use of the blocking function. If this starts happening after you have given out your personal information, or is already happening to you, please report it to the police straight away, give them all the information you have including any emails or texts you have, also set your instant messengers to save your conversations, they all have this function, and could be invaluable information should the worse happen. You should also report them to the site, to save the same thing happening to anyone else.
All this can sound very scary, but with a bit of common sense and a trust of your instincts, these guide lines are easy to stick to and should help make your dating experience a good and joyful one..
Do also remember that many, many people have lived happily ever after, as a result of meeting their partner on a dating site - it can happen to you too, but just make sure you are safe on that journey.
Good Luck
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